It’s about that time of the year when shit starts to get real. Like, really real.
It’s hot out. People are moving in and out and in. Drivers get worse. Long-time Lawrencians start to bail. College basketball is nearing its triumphant return. The Royals are vying for a World Series. I can finally write that without laughing. The kickball season is nearing its end.
Yes. It’s time for some Real Talk.
Das Boot plays Red Lyon for the first time in recent memory. Red Lyon has lost three of its last four games, and Das Boot is coming off a high-scoring, back and forth loss to the Rockets. Das Boot’s captain Phil ought to be back for this game, and CF Josh will probably be looking for another home run.
Happy Shirt plays Wildman Attack Force for the fourth year in a row—a team it hasn’t lost to since 2012. Happy Shirt is also coming back from an exhausting 12-inning win over Kansas Tree Care, followed by Tyler’s “Flu Game”—a 13-inning win over Channel 6.
Also at Lyons, Kansas Tree Care takes on the Love Garden Squids. KTC scored six runs before taking an out last week against the Hurtz Donut D-Holes (ultimately coasting to an 11-4 win), while the Squids return from its own 13-inning loss to the Chalmersiz. KTC was kind of boned having to face Happy Shirt in its division, but not everyone can be a 1-seed—though the way it’s played all season, Hannah & co. certainly deserve it.
The Free State Growlers have been playing some of its best kickball of late—ever since I apparently threw a lot of shade or whatever—and are facing the Goats for the third straight year (the previous two games went the Goats’ way). This could be a tough game for the now-with-less-Lauren Goats, but don’t expect them to go down fainting.
Across town, Channel 6 plays the Bad News Bagels, two teams in Rank Pool 1 for the first time, and two teams down one in the pool. Channel 6’s defense is solid, unless it’s playing Happy Shirt, and the Bagels’ schedule won’t get any easier for a couple more weeks until the playoffs start. Well, neither will Channel 6’s, but that’s what you get for being good.
Pizza Party surprised Red Lyon with a big win, and the Rockets scored 20 against Das Boot (and allowed 14). Holcolm Red at 6:30 p.m. is a rough place to play, and for two high-scoring teams this could be another run-fest. The Rockets played a different defense from what I’ve seen in the past—it struggled early on, but adjusted and acclimated inning-by-inning against Das Boot. Big game for these two.
Speaking of big games: Chalmersiz faces the Hurtz Donut D-Holes for the fourth time in four years, winning in 2012 (in the 2s), losing early in 2013, and winning in the second round in that year’s tournament. Hurtz was slightly shorthanded last Sunday against KTC. That should change this week. Chalmersiz, on the other hand, looks to have improved significantly after last year’s step back. Since 2012, Chalmersiz has gone 9-1, 8-2, 6-4, and is already at 7-1, only losing to the Bad News Bagels this season so far. Could this be their year to return to the Final Four since its heartbreaking, extra-inning loss against Happy Shirt in ’12? and who from Hurtz is gonna step up and take 27 pitches from Capt. Candlepants? and will Justin rip his goddamn pants again? These questions and more will be answered right before . . .
Los Matadores and Thunderkickz face off in this year’s Beard Off game. Either Capt. Paul Santos or new-to-the-team Austin Wagoner will lose his beard after this game, so one way or another, someone’s gonna look weird at Game of the Week. After last Sunday’s surprise drubbing (for both teams), each looks to defend their beard with all they’ve got. If Los Matadores can field its full team (it played five girls in its loss to the Goats), and ThundertriX can kick to its potential, this could be a one- or two-run game. Austin has a better beard, but he should probably enjoy it while it lasts.
And then we have Game of the Week: Asteroid Head vs. the Ladybird Harpies. Asteroid Head’s last GotW was opening day, 2014, in which it lost to the Rats, 11-2. The Harpies’ last was in 2013, in which it also lost, 19-7, to the Merchants of Death. Asteroid Head is looking to sweep the 8s, and the Harpies just want its first win after losing its best chance last week to D’s Nutz (10 innings).
And now for some pics:
Red Lyon > Das Boot
Happy Shirt > Wildman Attack Force
Kansas Tree Care > Love Garden Squids
Free State Growlers > Goats
Screamers > D’s Nuts
Corksuckers > Nick Lerner’s Homies
Liberty Hall Late Fees > Brewballers
Taco Tuesday > Jazzhaus
Channel 6 > Bad News Bagels
Pizza Party > Rockets
Chalmersiz > Hurtz Donut D-Holes
Los Matadores > Thunderkickz
Sacred Sword > Rats
Wu-oost > Ghosts
AsteroidHead > Ladybird Harpies
There. That’s about as normal as it’s gonna get. Who wants a margarita?